


Interlude

by pixiedustatsundown



Series: Sapphic September 2019 [29]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Coma, Established Relationship, F/F, Hopeful Ending, Introspection, Ron Weasley is a Good Friend, Sapphic September, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-07 15:48:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20819849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pixiedustatsundown/pseuds/pixiedustatsundown
Summary: No one ever expected Pansy to wake up again.





	Interlude

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the prompt "I don't know how to feel right now." by [OTPshipper98](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OTPshipper98)

Hermione knows she should be happy, should be ecstatic, should dance around the room and shout her joy into the sky. Instead here she stands, frozen brain racing with circling thoughts and everything else shutting down. 

“I don't know what to feel right now.” The healer is nodding at her in understanding, as if it’s totally normal for the relatives of coma patients to stand outside the room, hesitant to go in. As if she is not holding everyone up because she can’t be happy already about this clearly good thing. 

“What is there to know? It’s _amazing_ that she woke up — a miracle! Go in there and say hello to your fiancée.” Ron's words, while well-intentioned, only serve to make her feel worse. She hasn't spoken to Pansy in 3 years, 3 years that seem like an eternity now. Hermione has been heartbroken when she was attacked and the healers couldn't fully bring her back, has spent countless days sitting by her bedside and reading to her, hoping she would wake up before she decided the pain was too much, that she couldn't do it anymore. 

And now Pansy — _her Pansy_, the woman Hermione planned her life with, who organised her bookshelves to be aesthetically pleasing instead of according to theme and refused to back down, who is a surprisingly good cook and took to force-feeding Hermione when she was too lost in research, who could be annoying and stubborn and pretentious but who Hermione loved with all her heart — is awake. And Hermione doesn't know what to do.

She moved on with her life, she cried and grieved and hoped and then she _moved on_. She bought a new flat because she couldn't stand the empty spaces anymore and she packed all of Pansy's things that she couldn't let go off and hid them in the attic. She learnt to sleep without Pansy in her bed and to make her own food. She accepted that the life she had dreamed of won’t be happening. Except that now it could, Pansy isn't in a coma anymore, is a wake and healthy and once again a _person_, not just a body. 

She will want her life back, will want to continue where they got interrupted and live the life they wanted. Hermione doesn't know if she can do that. 

It sounds wonderful in theory — unpack the boxes in the attic, let Pansy rearrange the books again and make up for lost time. She wants that so much, wants it back so badly — she used to dream of this moment. But Hermione isn't the same person anymore, doesn't fit into the relationship they had anymore. 

“Hermione?” Ron sounds seriously concerned now. Maybe she shouldn't have brought him; maybe she should have come alone. “Look, I don't understand what you are feeling right now, obviously, but you can talk to me about it, I can listen. This clearly isn't easy for you and if you can’t do this right now you don't have to, we could leave and come back later of you want.”

While the thought of going in there and face Pansy is terrible, deeply interwoven with disappointing her and confusion and hurt on both sides, the thought of _leaving_ is worse. If Hermione leaves now, she won’t come back. She would give up on Pansy again; she would walk away and spend the rest of her life pretending she doesn't miss her. And Hermione has had enough of that in the last years to know that she doesn't want to do it ever again. 

Forcing a smile for Ron she takes a deep breath, stands up a little straighter and knocks on the door. 

  


**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated!  
If you liked this story you can [reblog it on Tumblr](https://pixiedustatsundown.tumblr.com/post/188026997493/interlude)


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